Maybe I’m just a killjoy, but there are certain things that I find inarguably Not Funny. And that means a lot coming from someone who has managed to cackle at some of the most deranged shit on 4chan.
I have a sense of humor, whether or not you ever would have believed it from my blog so far. This blog is one of the few spaces where I don’t try to play things off by being The Funny Girl, so I guess you’re just going to have to take my word for it. Maybe one of these days I’ll post some comic relief.

 

But, I digress. Slightly.

The story is that my college offers a Self-Defense For Women class. I have taken it, and here’s the thing: it works, but not for its intended purpose. What I mean by that is that, while the techniques really do work* to do things like get someone off of you if you are grabbed from behind or keep yourself from being dragged into a dark alley, the unfortunate truth is that that is not how the vast majority of sexual assaults happen.

It is usually someone you know, unarmed, in a place that is familiar to you.

This is going to play into a later post (or three) where I plan to address exactly why teaching girls “don’t get raped” is completely ineffective. But, for now, let’s just go with the simplification that, while I don’t think that a Self-Defense Course For Women should be heralded as “progress”, I think it’s something worth giving a little fucking respect.

 

This is where the Un-Funny comes in.

My stoner roommate took the class with me a year ago. Her stoner friend is taking it now.

Apparently they decided it was appropriate to burst in the door laughing and squealing lines from the part of the class where they teach you about verbal defense. “Nooooooo! Stop! No! Don’t touch meeeeeeeeeee! Noooooooooooooooo!” Because apparently it’s really funny that someone could get seriously hurt and violated despite their best attempts otherwise. And because apparently their protests to this effect are funny, too. Hilarious. Funny enough to merit a full-on re-enaction at maximum volume in public.

 

What the actual fuck.

 

Am I the only person who sees a problem here?

 

 

 

 

 

 

*I was lucky enough to have several friends who allowed me to practice on them, with surprisingly effective results.

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